Last weekend I went back to my old high school in South Jersey for the first time in 12 years. And it was by choice, to visit - not like I had a Pre-calc mid-term they needed me to make up or something. The occasion was their spring musical, which this year was "Godspell". And the last time they put on a production of "Godspell" was my senior year, 1996, and it was the only time I've done musical theater, before or since.
I know, shocking. You had this notion of Pat Breslin always being this macho dude, and figured I was probably defensive lineman on the football team back in high school or something (SARCASM ALERT), but that was not the case. Actually, when I look back high school was kinda weird for me because for the first three years of it I had a grand total of three friends. Two of the guys didn't get along with each other, and the other, who was my best friend, got a girlfriend mid-junior year who he started having sex with. I wasn't invited for that, so I started getting involved in school activities to meet new friends. As luck would have it, I did - I got very involved in student council junior and senior year, made a lot of new friends, and the good friends I made around that time year are the guys I still keep in touch with to this day.
A lot of my friends were the athletes from my class - mostly the guys on the basketball team, which may or may not be a coincidence. I was captain of the tennis team senior year (I know, it just keeps getting better), and although I was good at tennis, I was never really that into it because basketball was my sport (I tried out and got cut freshman AND sophomore years) and I was just always bitter that I had to wear tight white shorts and show off my chicken legs and pretend I was having a good time, while my friends would play night games with the whole school watching, and got to do things like hook up with girls afterwards. There were never any tennis groupies (just lots of moms pretending to watch), and I don't think there ever should be.
I'm not sure when, but sometime mid-Senior year the Student Activities Director approached me and asked if I'd try out for the spring musical that year. Apparently they needed guys for it, and although I had never acted before, I was outgoing and very much a ham (I know, still am), so it wasn't much of a stretch. I don't remember it taking much persuading (I was a school activities junkie at that point anyway), but I do remember being worried that I didn't know how to sing. Like, at all.
I actually found out much later that they had originally intended for me to play the "Jesus" character (possibly because I'd never been laid and was heavy into grunge), but that changed the night of the audition. I didn't know much about musicals and the only soundtrack I had was "Grease", and I remember just trying to find the easiest song on there that was sung by a dude...so somehow I settled on "Beauty School Dropout." I can still vividly remember the good vibe in the room when I walked in and we were chatting, and how quickly it changed as soon as I started singing. There were three of them there, and my singing was so bad, I think they honestly thought I was messing with them at first - I just saw jaws drop, eyebrows arch, and a whole variety of confused and sad expressions. It may have been one of the worst singing performances of all time (Sanjaya included), and about halfway through the song I think they just politely had me stop, thanked me for my time, and crossed me off "The Jesus List". If the Lord is indeed watching from above, He's probably got that performance on his Top 5 Favorite Awkward YouTube clips.
So I didn't get to play Jesus because I sing like Ashlee Simpson, but they ended up giving me another role in the show (it's basically Jesus, John the Baptist, and then everybody else). I got a bunch of the funny lines, and thankfully for civilization, no solos. Over those next couple months we practiced non-stop and it was exhausting (was somehow playing tennis at the same time too), and in the end the show came out great and I'm glad I did it. Joining the spring musical your senior year is a great way to have your friends suddenly question your sexuality, but it's also a great way to make new friends and do things you didn't think you were capable of. Like whisper-singing "Day by Day" just low enough to not screw up the chorus.
And I'm real glad I went back to see this year's production of it. I got an invitation in the mail (they invited the original cast), and since Girl I'm Dating was babysitting, Mom went with me. It was weird going back, but in some ways felt like nothing had changed - the kids look YOUNG, but I was still acting just like them, embarrassed when Mom kept awkwardly taking picture with everybody I spoke with ("Stop it, Mommmm!!"). And the kids put on a great show - better than when we did it 12 years ago. It was funny, at the end they called us backstage to meet the cast and I didn't know what to do, just kept saying to these little kids staring at me, "Great job, you were awesome", "Great job, awesome", "You were awesome, great job". I couldn't have felt older, and then these two giggling girls go to me, "Ummm, were you Jeesusss??" And when I said, "Nahh, actually I wasn't", they got this snotty, disappointed look on their fact, said "Oh, alright", and walked away. Yep, still uncool with the girls in that building - it felt right. And who knew chicks think it's cool to be Jesus?? If only I could have held a note back then, maybe I would have actually gotten laid.
Oh, and by the way, I wasn't the worst singer ever. I once saw a chubby guy at a karaoke bar singing Melissa Etheridge's "Like The Way I Do" (he was practically crying through it, clearly had just gotten dumped), and he was way worse. I thanked him for that, and he had no idea why. Thanks, have a nice day.
