A Few Geeks, a Book, and a Panini Place

So that's the name of the book club that I joined. I know, just awful. It might as well be called, "Oprah's Book Club: Central Jersey Chapter". Or better yet, "A Few Avid Book-readers, and Some Clown Who Just Joined For His Stupid Blog." Bottom-line, though, is that I'm willingly in a book club now, and I never thought I'd be. And I didn't just join for the blog - it happened because one of the girls at work saw me reading "Into The Wild" on my lunch break a few months back, invited me to join this secret 6-person club (two other guys included - I made sure I wasn't the only dude), and since I managed to get through college with a History/PoliSci degree without actually completing a full book, my guilt kicked in and I figured now is a good time to catch up on reading. I sucked at first - our first book after I joined was "Secret Life of Bees", which I read only two chapters of, and had to come clean to the group (that's a low point), and now we're reading Steinbeck, so let's hope I don't procrastinate til the week of and have pay off some college kid for the Cliffs Notes. All I know is, when it's my turn to pick, I'm totally picking something embarrassing to be seen reading in public, like, "What to Expect When You're Expecting."

Anyway, it's been a crazy month, but I've gotten to do some cool stuff. Two weeks ago I got a chance to go out to San Francisco for a few days. My first time on the west coast, and I can definitely see how people go to Northern California and don't come back - it's awesome out there, and I saw zero guido meatheads, so it certainly beats Jersey this time of year. I was also amazed at how many people, when I told them I was going to San Fran, immediately gave me that lame, hacky old, "Hey, I hope you come back straight! (chuckle, chuckle)". Ugggh. Really? Is that still supposed to be a relevant joke? I was all confused at first, because I guess I forgot about San Fran's rep as a "gay city"...so I think any guy who says "I hope you come back straight" has clearly switched sexualities himself on a three-day business trip.

Also got to vacation down at the Jersey shore (Avalon, NJ) with Melissa and my parents when I got back last weekend. We go one weekend every year, it's my favorite shore town, and especially nice this year actually having a girlfriend with me, so I didn't have to get Mom to apply sunblock to my back in public. Or anybody else's back, for that matter - most years I'd bring a wingman (usually my friend Neal), and last year he asked Mom to get his back too. For those who've never experienced it, watching your mother vigorously rub Coppertone into your best friend's back in public is right up there with Fat Tan Ponytail Guy in Speedo on the list of Things I'd Never Like to See On the Beach Again.

And of course, I've been to a bunch of concerts this month too. Two weeks ago went to the All Points West Festival on the water in Jersey City, headlined by Radiohead. For those of you who haven't been to a festival concert in awhile, they still suck. Tickets are way overpriced, and trying to get a beer is slightly less difficult than checking luggage - we stood in one line to get carded, another to get the actual beer, and then a third where somebody held my head and poured the beer into my mouth (okay, I made that last part up, but you get the idea). The bathroom situation sucks, too - I went to use a porta-potty at night and it was un-lit inside, so I had to pee in the dark. Thought I was locked in, too, because I had trouble with the door in the dark. Heard it was quite a sight for my friends, seeing a porta-potty shaking, hearing my panicked voice saying, "Melis-Melissa!!" from inside of it, then seeing the door burst open and me emerge with a frightened look on my face and piss on my shorts. God, I suck.

Whatever, it was made all worthwhile, though, by Radiohead's amazing sets both nights. (Yes, I went to see them two nights in a row - hey, everybody's got their thing, and for me it's pro basketball and Radiohead.) And much thanks to Melissa on Saturday for pretending to enjoy Radiohead for one night. Can't imagine it must have been much fun having a half-drunk me with my arms around her, geeking-out and yelling with beer breath in her ear, "Oh my God! You don't understand - they NEVER play 'Fake Plastic Trees'!" Again, I suck.

Oh, and one last concert I can't forget is the infamous Counting Crows/Maroon 5 show two weeks back - I'm not a big fan of either, but she likes Maroon 5, I used to be into Counting Crows when I was 15, and I basically just figured it would be a good "couples concert", where we could get lawn seats and a blanket and suck face to "Sunday Morning" and "Round Here". It wasn't exactly Couplepalooza (plenty of groups of cougars and high school chicks there for that Maroon 5 dude, I guess), but it was a fun show still. Maroon 5 was better than expected, then Counting Crows came on...and they sounded good at first...until about 15 minutes in I realized that the band sounded tight, but something was just, um, off. And I then I figured it out: lead singer Adam Duritz was TRASHED. I mean, like, off-his-ass wasted. Dude was a total mess. He wasn't butchering lyrics, but he mumbled a bunch, and basically just sounded like a drunk chick singing Counting Crows during last call at karaoke night. He tried talking a few times between songs, and that didn't go well either ("Seriously, you guys should vote this year...I don't even care who for, just vote." - wow man, brilliant). He basically just seemed like a dude who clearly hasn't dealt well with not having a hit song this decade ("Shrek" soundtrack-excluded). It was actually one of the rare instances where he'd say "This is a song from our new album" and I actually DIDN'T want to take a bathroom break I wanted to see if he'd throw up onstage, and start drunk-dialing the female half of the "Friends" cast. That didn't happen, unfortunately. But we did get to see a forty-something dude have a meltdown on-stage, and that was worth the ticket price alone.

Speaking of meldowns, let's hope I don't have one when I turn 30 this Saturday. I don't anticipate it...but even it does happen, as long as it's not on a stage in front of 7000 people, with "Mr. Jones" playing in the background, I'll be okay.